Thursday, December 25, 2008

Dealing with a Flirtatious Partner

Flirting is a fun, social and healthy human behavior. It is a way we introduce our existence to others, express our self-confidence and let others know that we find them attractive. Even though it is an overall harmless behavior, flirtation seems to be a problem in most relationships. People find it offensive and disrespectful, as well as causing them to feel jealous. There are ways you can deal with your partner's flirtatious ways without having to end the relationship or argue on a regular basis, by understanding the reasons and meanings behind your partner's flirting.

Most of us would rather have your partner not flirt at all. This may be what you want, but not necessarily what you are going to get. We all want to feel special and like we are the only one our lover has eyes for, but the truth is, your partner's eyes have a right to explore whatever or whoever it is around them, as do you. Being in a relationship never means that you own your partner or can start changing things about them, which is why it is so essential that you study your partner's personality, attitudes and habits while you are still in the dating process and before you decide to have an official relationship.

What you should focus on is the reasons behind your partner's flirting. It could very well just be that your partner carries a high and self-confident personality, and chooses to express that confidence through flirting, as many people do. If this is the case, then you were probably already aware of your partner's confidence when you met him or her, but just grew less fond of it as you grew more emotionally attached. In these cases, it would be best to get in touch with your own self-confidence to prevent insecurity, and learn to accept your partner's personality.

Maybe your partner's flirting has a deeper meaning behind it other than just a high self-esteem. Unfortunately, sometimes our partners will flirt because they really are attracted to other people and it could damage your relationship, depending on how much it bothers you. Being attracted to other people does not necessarily mean that your partner wants to go and cheat on you with all those people. Being attracted to others could mean that your lover is simply acknowledging the good looks that another person carries and stops it at that point. Attraction does not always create a temptation to cheat and you should allow your security to grow on this fact.

If the flirting truly bothers you and you find that you cannot continue a relationship that includes such behavior, then the best thing you could ever do is be straightforward with your partner. Having an honest and open discussion about it will be of much more help instead of you just getting angry and bottling up your feelings and blowing up later down the road when you have reached the ultimate limit. Tell your partner that you feel disrespected and hurt when he or she pays attention to other women or men, especially if there is one in particular. Asking them why they feel the need to flirt will also paint a clearer picture for you, with a clear answer from them of course. Without giving your lover ultimatums, tell him or her that you have tried to adapt to it but just cannot and you would love it if the two of you could meet somewhere in the middle.

You teach people how to treat you and the relationship, and by keeping quiet over the things that bother you, like flirtation, you will only cheat yourself and your partner from experiencing a relationship you both deserve. It is obligatory that you always continue to be honest with yourself and your lover about the feelings you feel and thoughts you think. Sometimes you will not always get the results you were hoping for. Perhaps your partner will never stop flirting with other people, and though you cannot change your partner's personality and habits, you can change a situation that causes you unhappiness.

As the person who has committed to be in a relationship with you, your partner should always care about how you feel and think about the things that transpire in your relationship. They should never want to continue doing anything that would make you upset, disappointed, jealous or insecure in any way. This means the flirting as well. Your partner cannot change who they are, but they can show their interest and care about how you feel and can put in the best effort they can to make you feel better. Still, if they refuse to change or try to lessen their flirtatious activities, then perhaps it is time you re-think of whether or not this is the right relationship for you.

Dealing with a flirtatious partner can be easy or it can be extremely stressful and damaging to your self-esteem. It all depends on your personality as well. To determine what is best for you, you must get in touch with yourself and ask the questions necessary for you to find the best answers. If you do not want to lose your partner but do not like the flirting, then you need to make a choice to either learn to accept this side of his or her personality, or exit the relationship and find someone who will not arouse your jealousy and insecurity. Only you have the power to take control of what you will and will not take in a relationship and what is the breaking point for you in your relationship.


Post a Comment