Thursday, June 18, 2009

8 Life Lessons We Can All Learn From 'Predator'

There is so much in the movie 'Predator' that has gone unappreciated. Below is a list of the life lessons we could learn from Dutch and his crew as they try to take on the Predator himself.

1. Don't Push Too Many Pencils

When we learn it: Dutch is reunited with his old "friend" and they lock arms to see which one has more pump left in their ridiculously huge biceps.

Why it's important: It's a simple, childish game designed to determine which participant is stronger, but in this context it helps remind us that spending too much time stuck behind a desk will leave you a puny weakling.

2. Do Whatever It Takes To Survive

When we learn it: Tracker, Billy breaks a vine in half and drinks some of the liquid from within, Man Vs. Wild-style.

Why it's important: You don't have to be heading into a jungle to benefit from some general survival skills. Not only will you make your old Boy Scout leader proud, but it might save you from becoming a meal for a hungry bear or ... a particularly sporty alien hunter.

3. Payback Is A Bitch

When we learn it: Upon discovering some of their fellow soldiers that have been skinned and strung up, our elite squadron sets out for payback.

Why it's important: Almost everyone loves getting revenge. Luckily, not everyone has access to a huge chaingun like Old Painless, but this scene should make you think twice about the consequences before you do something to piss off someone else.

4. Rank Isn't Always Important

When we learn it: Mac threatens to "bleed" Dillon if he gives up the squads position just one more time.

Why it's important: Though he outranks the rest of the team, Dillon's slip-up put the whole team at risk. Just because you're the boss doesn't mean you get a free pass to suck.

5. We Ain't Got Time To Bleed

When we learn it: Upon storming the guerrilla camp, Blain takes a bullet. When he's asked about it, he replies simply, "I ain't got time to bleed."

Why it's important: Somehow, we find time to update our Twitter and Facebook pages 30 times a day, while this guy doesn't even have time to bleed. A lot more would get done if we shared his sense of urgency. Even Jesse Ventura today keeps himself constantly occupied by acting completely insane.

6. When In Doubt, Fire Wildly Into The Woods

When we learn it: After his first encounter with the Predator who has just killed his squad-mate, Mac picks up old painless and peppers the nearby shrubbery with bullets. The rest of the team soon joins in.

Why it's important: It takes a whole hell of a lot of bullets, but one finally catches the Predator, spilling some of his blood and providing an important clue. It's not the most efficient model for getting things done, but it's a lot better than sitting back and doing nothing.

7. Never Rely On The Help Of Others

When we learn it: The situation is beyond FUBAR, but the superiors refuse to authorize air transport out of the suck.

Why it's important: Self-reliance is a valuable trait to have, whether you're in the jungle or trying to get something on a really high shelf at Home Depot.

8. If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It

When we learn it: After having a talk with their female captive, Arnold and Co. set up a series of Home Alone-worthy booby traps to snare their snarly enemy.

Why it's important: All this talk about killing is simply a metaphor for getting things done. With strategy, cooperation and lots of hard work, there really isn't anything that can't be accomplished. It also helps if you bring a bunch of of machine guns.


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